For my entire life I have lived and functioned through generalized anxiety. As a child, I would have unexplained panic attacks. As I got older, those attacks ruined moments in my life that were meant to be celebrated. It caused me to isolate myself from others. It darkened my personality and caused my role as a worship leader to be muffled.
Last year, it isolated me so much that I blockaded myself away from being close to anyone. I felt the farthest away from God that I had ever felt. I was alone and hopeless and would daily cry out to God for answers. I was afraid of everything and lived daily in an attitude of fear. I clutched so hard to my own strength that it was crippling me.
In January, I had enough. I started a worship-only music fast. I listened to nothing but worship for 21 days. I was amazed that simply on my drive into work, God was starting to melt away my hard exterior. The words “No Longer a Slave to Fear” and “No fear could hinder the promises you’ve made” hit me hard.
When I attended the worship night in Tampa, I was desperate. I needed God to break this in me. I knew I could not do things in my own strength any longer. As you all began to lead us in worship, I was overcome by Jesus. I heard His voice so clearly. I hadn’t felt that close to Him since I was a teenager. It was like being reunited with a long lost love. I am a worship leader at my own church, but as “You Don’t Miss a Thing” played, I couldn’t sing a word. I was completely lost in His sweet spirit as He showed me visions and spoke the answers I needed so desperately.
Since then, I have been living in freedom. I no longer fear the future. I feel peace and overwhelming joy. I Hear God’s voice on a regular basis and live in a state of complete gratitude for the freedom He has given me. Since then, God has used me in a HUGE way. I have given my testimony to struggling youth and to our entire music collective at our church. My experience has led me to encourage and inspire our worship team. Breakthrough and revival has hit our church and we are seeking Him deeper than we have in years.
I can never thank Bethel Music enough for their ability to let God speak through their music. I am beyond grateful for what the experience at Worship Nights has done for me. It was the tool God used to free me and to set fire to our church. Thank you. With all of my heart.